This
post’s topic includes a poor attempt at an explanation for my long hiatus, some
highlights of my pilgrimage to Bourbon country, condemnation of hipster douche
bags, the corvette of bourbons, a spelling test, and some really bad food.
My Extended Hiatus. As both of the
readers of this blog have observed, I haven’t posted in quite some time. I posted less than 10 blogs in all of
2013. Why? I’ve been busy with other things and blah,
blah, blah. Actually, I just wasn’t
feeling snarky, and the WF can’t write if there’s no snarkiness.
A Pilgrimage to Bourbon Country.
A few
months ago, Huey (my frequent companion in juvenile frivolity) asked me if I
would be interested in going to Kentucky for a bourbon trip. My response was something akin to “Just say
when,” “Hell yes,” or perhaps a manly “I love you!” It was not hard to convince me.
So we
did. We decided to hit as many
distilleries as possible, which is hard because they are fairly spread
out. We decided to hit Jack Daniels, Maker’s
Mark, Buffalo Trace, Willett, Jim Beam, and Woodford Reserve.
A few
words on Jack Daniels. It’s not bourbon,
and it’s not particularly good. However,
we decided we had to go. It’s an
historic site which must be seen.
Beautiful, and a really cool tour. Check out the first photo. Look familiar? However, they are awfully proud of their whiskey, which is surprising
since it’s kinda crappy whiskey. And I don't care if Frank Sinatra loved it! The
only thing good there is their single barrel whiskey, which tastes like a
decent bourbon. Did I mention that Jack
Daniels is located Lynchburg, which is in a religiously dry county? What the hell is wrong with those
people?! That’s just downright
un-American.
Onto
the good whiskey. Maker’s Mark isn’t the
best bourbon around, but it’s a solid every day bourbon. It’s also located in an absolutely beautiful
location. Like stunning “wow I could
totally live and work here” beautiful.
Did you know that every MM label is made with the original hand operated
presses?
As
you drive near the distillery, you see these large black buildings in
bunches. At first, I thought they were
prisons. But, no….. Those are barrel houses holding up to 30,000
barrels apiece. Oh lord….. Hold me…..
Buffalo
Trace… and why do you care? Well, let’s
start with the fact that Old Rip Van Winkle Distillery is part of Buffalo Trace,
along Blanton’s and a number of other small batch fabulous bourbons. And now you care. It’s also beautiful, though different than
Maker’s. Imagine a little Pittsburgh
grittiness mixed with a lot of Kentucky.
Very cool.
Jim
Beam. Wait a minute, WF, that’s some
cheap ass whiskey and not any better than Jack Daniels. You’re correct. However, what you may not know is that they
also make Knob Creek, Bookers, Basil Hayden’s, and other very good small batch bourbons. Plus, how could I not go to Jim Beam?
I could totally lose my white trash man card if I didn’t!
Woodfords
Reserve. I think this was the most
visually stunning of all of the distilleries and my favorite tour. They ferment their mash in traditional wooden
containers, and triple distill the whiskey in traditional copper stills. Very old school, and that’s by design. Woodfords is not my
favorite whiskey, but it is a very and approachable whiskey and definitely one
you should have in your bar at home.
The Angels’ Share. So…. What’s with
this ‘Angels’ share’? First, those
American white oak barrels aren’t entirely water tight. They have small little leaks here and
there. Also, as the
barrels go through the seasons exposed to hot summers and cold winters, the
bourbon expands and contracts within the barrel. This expansion into the wood is what gives the
whiskey it’s amber hue and most of its flavor.
It also evaporates. The
distillers say they lose about 5% each year. See the last photo. This loss is called the Angels’ share as it evaporates up to heaven.
And
it smells intoxicating. My absolutely
favorite part of the trip was walking through the barrel houses and taking in
the aroma. I swear. If they made an Angels’ share perfume, I’d
buy it by the gallon for the Red and we’d probably never leave the house.
A complete conversion? Yes, I’ve become
a white trash scotch lover. Frankly, I
almost never drink scotch anymore. The
only problem with being a bourbon lover is that bourbon has become a cool
thing. There are some whiskeys which are
almost impossible to find, such as Pappy’s 20 year. But, there are many others which the hipster
douche bags haven’t discovered and made impossible to find, such as anything Michter's. Their basic bourbon is great, the 10-year is
fabulous, and the 20-year is so good that you’ll forget about this whole ‘Pappy’s’
craze. Having had Pappy’s and Michter’s
20 year multiple times, I’ll take the Michter’s any day. Take that, hipster douche bags!
And
for the record, Pappy’s is awesome bourbon. As I type this, I’m wearing my Old
Rip Van Winkle t-shirt. It’s just not as
good as the hype it’s received. Nothing
is.
The Best Mere Mortal Bourbon Available. Blanton’s.
You can find it for about $45 or so per bottle, and it’s worth every penny. Call it the Corvette of Bourbons (most bang
for the buck). I am never disappointed
when I buy some. Here’s a little fact
for you – Colonel Albert B. Blanton was the first distiller to ever take a single
barrel and bottle it, rather than blend it.
This was long before other distillers, including Scotch distillers,
started doing this.
Whisky vs. Whiskey? Here’s a general
rule of thumb: if there’s an ‘E’ in the
name of the country (United States and Ireland), it’s usually spelled
whiskey. No ‘E’ (Scotland, Canada,
etc.), it’s usually spelled whisky. And
I personally couldn’t care less, but some take this very seriously. They must have more free time than the WF.
Food in Kentucky. As I’ve admitted
in the past, I was raised as a young child in the heart of the South, and I love
Southern cooking. Kentucky is ostensibly
part of the South, or at the very least South-adjacent. Naturally, I was excited about the food
before we left.
Well,
I’m sorry to report that food in Kentucky generally sucked. Like so bad it’s not even worth writing a snarky, holier than thou
review. Like worse that Outback
Steakhouse bad. Bland and generally
overcooked, and lord knows I tried to find some decent places! But, at least most restaurants had a good
bourbon selection….
I hope to post more frequently now. Time will tell......
Happy cooking and drinking.
WF
