Praise the Lord and Pass the Chicken Feet

This week’s topics include grade “A” NC-17 food porn, the best restaurant dish I’ve had in a while, I know god loves me because……, the Things and I test our food boundaries, and it’s getting real in the Whole Foods parking lot!

The Best Dish in a Restaurant I’ve Had in a While.  In downtown Denver, there is a restaurant in the Curtis Hotel called the Corner Office.  All of their food is great and they have a great bar, but there is one dish that I will walk across town in freezing weather to eat.

Lobster macaroni and cheese.  Oh baby.  I’ve had variations on this in various restaurants, but no one has ever done it as well as the Corner Office.  Check out the food porn photo.  That’s NC-17 food porn!

First and foremost, they have chunks of claw and leg hidden in the cheesy goodness like little gifts from heaven.  We’re talking large chunks, too.  Not the strings of lobster that you might find in a bad enchilada or other competitors to this dish.  You’re eating real lobster and you know it.

Second, the cheesy goodness is held together with a sherry cream sauce.  Wow.

Third, right before it’s served they put some breadcrumbs on top and throw it under a salamander, which gives it this nice crunch that you have to break through to get to the lobster goodness underneath.

The next time you’re in Denver, go order this dish and thank me later.  I have one every time I’m in Denver, and rumor has it that I’m a bit of a food snob.  It’s that good.

I Know God Loves Me Because Dim Sum Exists.  I spent a lot of my young adulthood in Los Angeles.  Let’s just say that it my time in L.A. can be summed up as follows:  “Fight on, Trojans!” 

For one year during college, I lived close to Dodger Stadium.  We referred to Dodger Stadium as a 3-4 beer walk. 

 

Which also means that I lived within walking distance of Chinatown and therefore I ate a lot of Dim Sum.

What is Dim Sum, you say?  Frankly, I don’t even know what it officially is.  To the WF, it’s Chinese brunch.  Imagine a restaurant that is roughly the size of a decent sized aircraft hangar.  Now imagine 20-30 Chinese women pushing carts food around the restaurant.  You like what you see?  Order it.  The woman with the cart puts in on your table and marks your card with a stamp of a Chinese character and moves on.  And the process repeats itself every time you see something you like.  Here's a recent photo.  

Best Dim Sum L.A.?  Golden Palace in Chinatown. 

Just imagine the WF and Huey (my companion in juvenile frivolity and college roommate) mowing through pounds of Dim Sum during college.  At that time, we both hovered around 200 lbs and ate like college kids.  Truly disgusting to watch.  Open mouth and insert food.  Repeat as necessary.

I have no idea what each item in Dim Sum costs.  I just know that the WF and his dainty eating friends currently spend roughly $20 per person, plus tip.  We waddle out of there wondering how we could possibly ever eat any more food. 

I also love to test my food boundaries with Dim Sum, to the extent I have food boundaries.  We often go to Dim Sum with P, my Chinese friend by way of Brooklyn, and P is happy to help me test my food boundaries.

Side note.  If a Chinese person says something to the effect of “You don’t want to eat that,” you have two choices:  a) throw caution to the wind and dive in; or b) move on.  In my experience, you should pick b).  Don’t ask me how I know this.

Back to food boundaries.  I often test my food boundaries and the Things usually follow my lead.  During a recent Dim Sum adventure, the Things and I tried jelly fish and chicken feet.  Yes, you read that correctly.  My pre-teen boys eagerly tried jelly fish and chicken feet.  I’m just so damn proud of them.

Chinese jelly fish has awesome flavor and roughly the consistency of rubber bands.  Not my favorite thing in the world. 

Chicken feet are truly an experience.  As near as I can tell, the best way to eat them is to throw most of it in your mouth, slightly chew, enjoy the gelatinous texture, and spit the bones out.  Also not my favorite thing in the world, but we tried it!

Dim Sum is truly an experience and one every foodie should try.  My favorite item is bao, which is somewhat like barbeque pork baked inside of a bun.  The bun is brushed with honey or something similar. 

Here’s a photo.

If you’re in a large city with a large Chinese population, ask around for the best Dim Sum and go try it.  It’s truly an experience.

Whole Foods, Part Deux.  As some of you may recall, I recently wrote about my love for Whole Foods and disdain for some of its holier than thou, Prius driving customers.  I wrote something about enjoying driving my diesel to truck to Whole Foods.

In any event, my friend and fellow curmudgeon H sent me the following video link.  The Whole Foods Parking Lot  If you’ve ever shopped at Whole Foods, you’ll enjoy the video, particularly if you live in L.A.  Trust me.

“I pay my $80 for 6 items and get out!”

Happy cooking.

WF