House of "Pain"

This week’s topics include homemade bread that’s embarrassingly easy to make, a slow explosion in the pantry, coffee snobbery, an emasculation of me by the Red, a new segment on music I’m rocking to while cooking, and not 1 but 3 challenges to my masculinity (apparently it’s a theme). 

What I’m working on.  Homemade bread ("pain" to you francophiles)!  What’s better than fresh bread out of the oven with a little butter?  Not much.  It’s the quintessential comfort food.  A quick disclaimer is in order.  I am not a baker.  It requires a certain precision that I lack in my cooking.  I prefer to wing it and trust my instincts, which simply doesn’t work for baking.  The Red is the baker in the house and she's damn good at it.  However, I have been known to dabble in bread.  As a matter of fact, when the Red first met me, I lived alone and I had a bread maker which I frequently used.  She now admits that she thought it was a bit odd and somewhat questioned my, shall we say… preferences.  Whatever. 

My friend T recently sent me his recipe for restaurant-style bread (with photos, no less).  You’ve had this bread.  A round of bread with a nice crunch on the exterior and soft, fluffy inside.  T is a far more accomplished amateur chef than I am, so I had to try it.  Here’s how the first attempt turned out. 

It turned out fabulous and it’s almost embarrassingly easy to make.  It has 3 dry ingredients and water and doesn’t require any kneading.  You cook it in a Dutch or French oven in the oven.  If you want the recipe, email me.  Since my inaugural attempt, we’ve made a few more loaves.  It’s gotten to the point where I yell “Bread’s ready!” and Things 1 and 2 run downstairs to have some warm bread with butter.  I’ve started experimenting and I made a loaf with fresh rosemary and garlic slices.  Nice and savory, but I think more rosemary is in order for the next attempt.

The Red and I decided to start a sour dough starter and experiment with a sourdough version of this basic bread.  For future reference, in its first few hours a sourdough starter expands A LOT.  “Honey – what’s dripping on the canned food?”  “Uh… that would be the sourdough starter making a prison break from the top shelf.”  10 minutes of cleanup later, I had learned the lesson.  Use a bigger container than you think you need.  The starter needs a few more days to be ready to use, so more to follow…..

Coffee Snobbery.   I know what you’re thinking.  “Wannabe Foodie – how many things are you snobby about?!”  Apparently, quite a few.  When the Red and I were dating, I made dark roast Starbucks coffee (usually Sumatra blend) in a French press.  For those of you who’ve never used a French press, they make the absolute best coffee, but it is strong.  So one day I pour myself and the Red some fresh-brewed coffee.  I put a little cream and some sugar in mine and asked her if she’d like some.  “No thanks.  I drink mine black.”  Not condescending.  Just very matter of fact.  This is strong French press coffee and she’s drinking it black!  Yes, I was instantly smitten, but that’s not the point of this story.  I felt instantly emasculated by this young woman.  There I was drinking strong coffee with cream and sugar and she’s drinking it black!  Needless to say, that could not stand and I now drink black coffee.

Onto the snobbery.  Starbucks almost single-handedly created a generation of coffee hounds (and in my case, snobs).  Yes, I know that some of their roasts taste a little burnt, but not all and some of their blends are downright awesome.  So what do they do about 2 years ago?  They introduce Pikes Place Roast, which they instantly made their ‘standard’ coffee in all their stores.  Thank god they usually have a ‘Bold’ roast to order as Pikes Place is flat out crap.  And this from the institution that taught a generation about good coffee!  Whenever I’m in Starbucks I order “anything but that crap Pike’s Place!”  I’m amazed how many Starbuck’s employees agree with me.  Pike’s Place tastes like Dunkin Donuts coffee, and I don’t mean that as a compliment.  I think DD coffee tastes like good diner coffee at best.  I must be missing something because so many people from the Northeast swear by it. 

Best coffee available to us mere mortals?  Peet’s.  We get 3 pounds shipped to us every 21 days.  They ship it the same day they roast it.  When the package arrives, it smells like a small bundle of coffee goodness.  Far better than Starbucks.  Try some Major Dickason’s Blend, our coffee staple.  Some coffee trivia for you:  The founders of Starbucks bought their coffee during their first year of operation directly from the founder of Peet’s.  Rumor has it that he also helped teach them coffee roasting.   

What I’m Listening to While Cooking.  We recently did a slight remodel to our kitchen and as part of the remodel we installed 8 inch speakers to the left and the right of the new cooktop.  As I result, I rarely cook without music and my tastes in music are all over the board.  When the Red isn’t home, it’s usually fairly loud and it’s often Eminem’s Recovery album.  I’ve also spent a lot of time with Gabe Dixon’s upcoming album, One Spark.  Great record from a young singer/songwriter, though I’m still a bit partial to his prior album, the self-titled Gabe Dixon Band (one of Thing 1’s favorite albums).  If you’re so inclined, give a listen to Five More Hours or And the World Turned.  Fabulous songs that make you listen again and again.  Too bad there aren't more song writers like Dixon.  That would save us from the crap music on the radio which we’re often subjected to.

I recently read about Girl in a Coma (GIC) in a magazine.  I had never heard of the band.  However, the magazine in question had an article about the best music you haven’t heard and they mentioned GIC and Jamey Johnson.  If someone mentions a band in the same article as Jamey Johnson, they’ve got my attention, so I purchased GIC’s 2007 album Before I’m Gone.  My friend Huey, my counselor in all things music and whiskey (see inaugural blog post) and frequent companion in juvenile frivolity, questioned my manhood when I told him.  But he’s wrong.  Very good, eclectic, and well written rock album.  Well worth picking up.  Check out this song:  Clumsy Sky 

However, and I can’t explain why, I tend to listen to hillbilly music more often than not while cooking.  Perhaps it’s the perceived dichotomy of trying to make gourmet food while listening to hillbilly music.  I really don’t know and don’t much care.  My favorite country ‘cooking’ album is the self-titled album from Halfway to Hazard.  Good, rocking country and an album that you’ve probably never heard.  Here are a couple of examples.  Countrified and Daisy  If you’re a country music fan, just pick it up and thank me later.  If you’re not, just ignore this paragraph, move on, and spare me the inevitable “Eww… country music?!” comments.  Good music is good music, regardless of the genre.

Comments?  Feel free to post one below or email me at renofoodiescott@gmail.com.

WF